Bedside Manner Blog

A terribly overweight woman goes to the doctor to find the perfect diet. “I want you to eat regularly for two days then skip a day. Do that for two weeks and when you come back you will have lost five pounds.” When she returned, she shocked the doctor by losing twenty pounds. “Why, that’s amazing. Did you follow my instructions?” The woman nodded. “I did, but I thought I would drop dead by the third day.” “From hunger?” asked the doctor. “No, from the skipping.” ____ As one of the pillars of bedside manner, the benefi ...

                                                     After a thorough examination the doctor tells his elderly patient, “I have good news and bad news. The bad news is that you have cancer.” The patient, distraught, asks, “What’s the good news?” “The good news is that you also have Alzheimer’s ...

Patient: “Doctor, if I give up wine, women, and smoking, will I live longer?” Doctor: “Not really, it’ll just seem longer.” ____ Being a great doctor and being perceived as a great doctor by your patients are two entirely different matters. Every health-care school in the nation provides curriculum to train highly competent practitioners to serve the community. However, formal training in bedside manner, the way in which a doctor relates to the patient, is generally underdeveloped. While it may be impossible to change your personality, there is ...

Psychiatrist to nurse: “Just say we’re very busy, don’t keep saying, ‘It’s a madhouse.’” ____ While in the beginning, competency was not defined as a critical component of bedside manner; it is the essence of being a truly great provider. Everyone in the health-care industry should strive to be the most competent provider around. Creed of Competency: It is the duty of all health-care providers to be the best that they can be, to limit practice to areas of expertise and competency, and to seek quality continuing education to make sure tha ...

A woman goes to her doctor who verifies that she is pregnant. This is her first pregnancy. The doctor asks her if she has any questions. She replies, "Well, I'm a little worried about the pain. How much will childbirth hurt?"  The doctor answered, "Well, that varies from woman to woman and pregnancy to pregnancy and besides, it's difficult to describe pain."  "I know, but can't you give me some idea?" she asks.  "Grab your upper lip and pull it out a little..."  "Like this?" "A little more...&qu ...

A resident approached an elderly man on a gurney in the E.R. Resident: “Do you know who I am?” Old Guy: “Sure, you’re the doctor, but I don’t know your name.”            Resident: “So what brought you to the E.R.?” Old Guy: “An ambulance.” ____ Branding is the commercial concept of developing a recognizable reputation that is marketable and has value in terms of goodwill. Professional practice incorporates the same concepts. Doctors, hospitals, and clinics all value their r ...

Doctors at a large hospital have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the doctors’ demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist to go read the picket signs! ____ Doctors with great bedside manner aren’t supposed to be angry. Unless you are the most relaxed unflinching individual, you will get angry with patients in certain situations. Anger can affect you performance, judgment, reputation, and health. If you find yourself becoming angry too often, it may be a manifestation of burnout, and even if you have infrequent bouts of anger, you shoul ...

Top Five Signs You’re Suffering Burnout 5. You’re so tired you answer the phone “hell” instead of “hello.” 4. Your mom calls and you yell, “Get off my back, bitch.” 3. You’re so stressed you can’t remember how to pee. 2. You wake up and your bed is on fire, but you’re so tired you go back to sleep. 1. You think how relaxing it would be if you were in jail right now. ____ Everyone is entitled to have a bad day, except people in service industries. How many times have you experienced a service provid ...

Doctor: “You have acute appendicitis.” Blonde: “I came here for medical help, not compliments.” ____ Everyone likes to be complimented. People feel good about themselves when they receive a compliment and they feel good about the person giving the compliment. ____ An ER Doctor: “No one likes to be told they are a terrible patient. It is very temping to agree with the patient who announces that they are the ’worst patient you’ll ever see.’ While they may be right, they prefer to hear you say, ’Oh, you’re not anyw ...

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says. "Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks. "Ten..." says the doctor. "Ten? Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately. "9...8...7..." ____ An ICU nurse says that when there is bad news ...