Bedside Manner Blog

    Top Five Signs You’re Suffering Burnout   5. You’re so tired you forget to go to sleep. 4. Your five year old kid says, “Good morning,” and you yell, “What’s good about it?” 3. Your secretary says you’re being robbed and you run out to confront the robber, expecting it to be less stressful that dealing with Mrs. Nudnik. 2. You wake up and your bed is on fire, but you’re so tired you go back to sleep.   1. You think how relaxing it would be if you were in jail righ ...

Doctor: “You have acute appendicitis.” Blonde: “I came here for medical help, not compliments.” ____ Everyone likes to be complimented. People feel good about themselves when they receive a compliment and they feel good about the person giving the compliment. ____ An ER Doctor: “No one likes to be told they are a terrible patient. It is very temping to agree with the patient who announces that they are the ’worst patient you’ll ever see.’ While they may be right, they prefer to hear you say, ’Oh, you’re not anyw ...

A man goes to his doctor for a complete checkup. He hasn't been feeling well and wants to find out if he's ill. After the checkup the doctor comes out with the results of the examination. "I'm afraid I have some bad news. You're dying and you don't have much time," the doctor says. "Oh no, that's terrible. How long have I got?" the man asks. "Ten..." says the doctor. "Ten? Ten what? Months? Weeks? What?!" he asks desperately. "9...8...7..." ____ An ICU nurse says that when there is bad news ...

Most people want health-care providers who communicate well and offer some level of conversation. Despite this obvious fact, some doctors don’t converse with their patients, and more importantly they don’t communicate at a most critical moment: when the patient is in distress or in pain. While every doctor responds to the screaming patient, only the perceptive observer reads body language to help him or her respond to less clearly expressed patients’ needs. Body language is a form of nonverbal communication ranging from the easy-to-read (laughing and crying: both of wh ...

Each professional must decide how to address patients and how they would prefer to be titled. Some doctors strive for a casual office while others prefer formality. There is a way to have both and to please most everyone. The way to greet patients varies from one geographic or socioeconomic setting to another. As a rule of thumb, staff should address young patients (under thirty years of age) by first name and older patients (over thirty years of age) by surnames. Doctors may use first names for most patients under sixty years of age. A twenty-year-old calling an eighty-year-old wom ...

The Top Ten Things You Should Never Say During Surgery 10. “Don't worry. I think it is sharp enough.” 9. “Nurse, did this patient sign the organs donation card?” 8. “Damn! Page eighty-four of the manual is missing!” 7. “Everybody stand back! I lost a contact lens!” 6. “Hand me that...uh...that uh.....thingie.” 5. “Better save that. We'll need it for the autopsy.” 4. “What do you mean ’You want a divorce?’” 3. “Whoa, wait a minute, if this is his splee ...

Saint Peter had a terrible cold, so he asked Jesus if he could have the day off to go to the doctor.  Jesus said, “Sure, I’ll watch the Pearly Gates for you.” It was a slow day and at the end of the day an old man with white hair approached the gates.  “May I enter the Kingdom of Heaven?”  Jesus replied, “We’d love to have you, but tell me what you’ve done to earn your space here among the good?”  “I am but a simple carpenter, however my son was very special. I raised him to be a carpenter too, b ...

A seven-year-old girl comes home from school and tells her mother, “A boy in my class asked me to play doctor.” “Oh, dear,” the mother nervously sighed. “What happened, honey?” “Nothing. He made we wait forty-five minutes and then double-billed my insurance company.” ____ Patients deplore waiting. The more apprehensive, aggravated, or inconvenienced they feel about seeing the doctor, the more volatile they become. While doctors with great bedside manner can often melt away patient hostility by entering the room with a resounding gracio ...

Dentist: “Bob, could you let out a blood curdling scream when I start drilling?” Patient: “But why? It never hurts that much.” Dentist: “The waiting room is so full that I’m afraid I’m going to miss the championship game this afternoon.” ____ The office environment is a reflection of the health-care provider much in the same manner as is dress and personal grooming. Since bedside manner is the perception patients have regarding your expertise, personality and very being, you can’t ignore your environment. Office design is ...

The elderly couple consulted with the young doctor and told him they would like to engage in sex and wanted to make sure they were doing it properly for their age. While it seemed like an odd request, he took them into the examination room and let them go to town. At the completion, he told them they were doing just fine and all should be well. He even congratulated them on such an exceptional performance. The next week, and the week after that they were back in his office making the same request and he let them engage again. Becoming suspicious by the forth week, he asked, “You folks ...